Thursday, October 11, 2007

This Is What I Gave Up My Lavish Lifestyle For.

Please don't laugh. Please. But since you are my friend I will forgive you even if you did. What I am going to say just might tickle you a little bit. I told you sometime back that I quit a very well-paying job in the glitzy, glamourous world of advertising to change the world. It's been two weeks now. People around me had started getting nosey. Everybody wants to know what I am doing. So yesterday I did it!

Yesterday I've started a group on Sulekha.com called, 'Chennai ReSurrection - The Birth Of An Enlightened Community.' With this I intend to encourage the emergence of more active citizens - people motivated by an interest in public issues, and a desire to make a difference beyond their own private lives, especially in Chennai.

If you have finished laughing, stay with me for a little more time. Please. Thank you. :-)
I strongly believe that active citizens are a great untapped resource, and citizenship is a quality to be nurtured. Here's why:

1] A way of tackling large public issues.

Public issues such as child labour, homelessness, pollution, old age and such will only be effectively addressed when public participation is available. A few individuals or organisations trying to tackle the issue, while laudable, is not enough. Atleast not enough to create visible difference. Active citizens can make their neighbourhoods free of suffering with an ease and speed unthinkable by any other institution or even a state government.

2] A way of solving local problems.

When people become involved in their neighbourhoods they can become a potent force for dealing with local problems. Through co-ordinated planning, research and action, they can accomplish what individuals working alone could not.

When people decide they are going to be part of a solution, local problems start getting solved. When they actually begin to work with other individuals, schools, associations, businesses, and government service providers, there is no limit to what they can achieve.

3] A way of improving liveability.

Citizens can make cities work better because they understand their own neighbourhoods better than anyone else. Giving them some responsibility for looking after their part of the town is a way of effectively addressing local preferences and priorities. Understandably, boosting citizen participation improves liveability.

Cities are sources of potential conflict, between government and citizens, between different citizen groups, and between citizens and special interests such as real estate developers. Greater citizen participation in civic affairs is one way of reducing all of these conflicts. In particular it can prevent the firestorms associated with changes brought about by growth and renewal.

4] A bridge to strong democracy.

When citizens get together at the neighbourhood level, they generate a number of remarkable side effects. One of these is strengthened democracy. In simple terms, democracy means that the people decide. Political scientists describe our system of voting every few years but otherwise leaving everything to the government as weak democracy. In a weak democracy, citizens have no role, no real part in decision- making between elections. Supposed 'experts' assume responsibility for deciding how to deal with important public issues.

The great movement of the last decades of the twentieth century has been a drive towards stronger democracy in corporations, institutions and governments. In many developed countries, this has resulted in neighbourhood groups being formally recognized as a link between people and municipal government, and a venue for citizen participation in decision-making between elections.

5] A little recognized way to better health.

In the late 1980s, following Canada's lead, the World Health Organisation broadened its definition of health to account for the fact that health is much more than then absence of disease. The new definition recognizes that only about 25% of our health status comes from health care, the rest comes from the effects of adequate education and income, a clean environment, secure housing and employment, the ability to control stress, and a social support network.
Understandably, public health professionals have become some of the strongest advocates for more active citizens world over.

6] A way of rekindling community.

Active citizens can help to create a sense of community connected to place. We all live somewhere. As such we share a unique collection of problems and prospects in common with our neighbours. Participation in neighbourhood affairs builds on a recognition of here-we-are-together, and a yearning to recapture something of the tight-knit communities of the past. Neighbourhood groups can act as vehicles for making connection between people, forums for resolving local differences, and a means of looking after one another. Most important, they can create a positive social environment that can become the best features of a place.

Now, don't think this is what I quit my job for. To start a group on Sulekha.com

No, my dear friend. This was just a moment of inspiration. I have much bigger ideas. A complete business entity named 'BigMojoInc' is already in the making. It will be officially launched on the 15th Oct., 2007. Or maybe, by the over ambitious research that is going into it, it may be delayed by a week too.

BigMojoInc (www.bigmojoinc.com) will be based in Chennai and bring together the collective power of the government, corporates and the residents in making Chennai a better community. If it sounds impossible, it is. But there is a new, untested way of doing it. And I am banking on that! (Wish me luck!!) Talks are on with some hot shot, well-meaning corporates on how they can participate in more community building activities. Once the site is up, it will give the residents an interface to participate. I intend to write a letter to the Chief Minister of Tamilnadu and seek his wholehearted co-operation soon.

There are many of us out here and out 'there' who feel strongly about the issues that plague our society. I invite your participation too. We've passionately spoken and written for a better society, better life and better future. They have my greatest respect for being outspoken about their convictions. However, the need of the hour is action. I would appreciate all your support in taking our collective energy to the next level - the level of action. The moment of 'truth' as I call it. When one's words have to match one's deeds.

If you are a resident of Chennai, be sure to join in this movement. If you are not, but know someone who is, please let them know of the group on Sulekha.com called, 'Chennai ReSurrection.' That is the least you can do today to be part of the solution. From the very bottom of my heart, I thank you.

Please leave your comments, suggestions, and words of encouragement. God Bless and Peace!

Saturday, October 6, 2007

A City Celebrates! :-)

What makes a city a community? What makes it special? Is it its history, its streets, its food, or its people? There can be many opinions but the fact is every city has something to celebrate for itself. Here is one ready to celebrate her people! :-)

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Help! There's A Stranger In My Bed!

I'm not complaining. I'm just surprised. I mean, I'm a married man and all, you see. We are supposed to maintain a certain decorum in the society. Live by a certain code of conduct. Though I do appreciate the beautiful lassies around, I'm not the kind to stray. No sir, that just ain't me. I believe in the old-school of marriage. One man committed to one woman sort of thing. It's complicated enough, I say. I do wonder why good, sane men get more than one into the equation and complicate it beyond salvation. It's beyond me.

I'm not saying women are complicated. They may be. I'm saying we men are very simple people. We'll never understand why there should be 32 different shades of red, or why it's uncouth to eat on the couch. We are wired differently. To us, A is A, B is B and life is pretty neat. We are very happy to keep it that way too. So, imagine my surprise to find a stranger in my bed this morning. I was not looking for an adventure at this particular moment in my life. Especially not the kind that involves mysteries that I cannot explain to you, me or the society.

As far as I remember, when I went to bed last night all was well with my life. I had just quit a very well paying job to chase my dream of doing good for the society (Read more about it here in my previous post - 'Today I Quit Work To Change The World!'). My good friends and colleagues had wished me all the best, while looking at me strangely. Of course, I understand their anxiety. Age-old wisdom says that acts such as mine are neither a fashion nor very wise. Have you noticed that people are comfortable when they know why you are doing what you are doing. The moment they can't predict your motive they seem to be ill-at-ease around you. They start eyeing you suspiciously. It's always like you have an ace up your sleeve and they are not happy about it. Or you are going to spring a surprise on them which they are not going to like. Nothing could be further from the truth but that lingering hostility and defensiveness remain.

When I broke the news to my father, he looked at me as if I was joking but somehow the humour in it escaped him. At 33, like all responsible men, he was trying to secure the future for his wife and two kids. And here I was, giving up everything that promised me a 'safe, secure' future to help the community. Help the community? The Community? What was that? But the real good thing about my father is that he is a very sane man. He does not argue with insanity! My mother on the other side is a tough nut to crack. She can strike you dumb with such illogical 'logic' that only a mother can get away with. Yesterday, even she was dumbstruck.

My wife is the only person who seems happy for me. In fact, she is delighted. She knows I could be just as easily heading off to Himalayas in search of my 'self'. Now that would be tough to explain. Especially when all your friends husbands happen to be doing earthly jobs of doctors, bankers, software professionals, diamond merchants and like. She is only worried if I would start using telekinesis to alleviate poverty or use telepathy to educate the society. Since the day we married she has come to the conclusion that 'Alice in Wonderland' must be her story. But she loves me and I love her and that pretty much takes care of everything else, so I'm not worried.

Now, if things are going as good for you as they are for me, you wouldn't want to upset it with doing something stupid. No matter how tempting they may look at the moment. That is what differentiates the men from the boys, right? The ability to think with their minds firmly in their pants rather than wandering where it should not.

So here I am trying to recollect where was I last night. Six straight shots of scotch whiskey can make everything look murky, I know. But since I don't drink, what could have possibly induced that effect in me? No, I don't do drugs either. People think I'm fairly wonky without much 'external assistance' anyway. I believe I went to bed yesterday just the way I went to bed the day before. Or the day before that. It was just a usual 'going-to-bed.'

Except the fact that I woke up to a whole new reality. It was like I had died and born as someone I hardly recognised. There was no 5a.m alarm screaming at me. There was no hurry to rush through the morning breakfast and run for the daily grind. I wasn't reading the Economic Times or scanning financial reports to see if my clients were doing well around the country. My mobile phone hadn't rung for a straight 14 hours since I went to bed last night. I wasn't fanatically trying to remember the facts and figures for another one of my client meetings. I wasn't even trying to remember anything. I was just there. Free and terribly conscious of a strange sinking feeling within.

Things that, just a night before, had defined me as a person, things that I could point to to justify my existence as a social being were no longer there. I was a free radical, floating alone in a universe that seemed to run perfectly well without me. If you have ever been in that place, you would know what I mean. Suddenly, everything looked disproportionately large and terrifying.

I sat in my bed and watched the sun rays glide gently in through my window and make a light pool on the floor. It reflected on my glistening wardrobe. I never had noticed that before. There were two crow nests on the tree outside. I think a mama crow was trying to feed one of her unruly chicks, cause she was making a lot of 'crow' noise.

My wife came in from the bathroom, all fresh and ready for the day. She had shoulder length hair. I always thought she had a 'bob cut' or something. I don't remember seeing that tattoo on her shoulder either. God! Where have I been? Atleast I recognise that characteristic amused smile of her's still. The one thing that made me do what no other woman in the world could make me do – get married!

I guess she saw me stare at her. Looking at me quizzically, she said, "So Tiger, looks like a brilliant day to start changing the world! What say?"

Sitting there in my bed, half asleep, hearing her voice I felt something strange. Like a blinding flash, deep within, I felt the limitless love this woman had given me. I felt the courage she had displayed in times of exceptional need. Somehow, at that very moment, an unspoken truth formed words within my mind. I found myself thinking, "I'd give up my life than do something to make this woman cry." I don't think I have ever said that to her. Or even admitted it to myself. I guess I never thought about it. I was always busy. I had 'important' things to think about. Things that were worth lakhs of rupees to my company, crores to my clients, and much more to the faceless millions I served day in and day out.

But now, there was nothing on my mind. It was as clean as a new slate. There was just me and my wife. And a life ahead that I hope to spend making this community I exist in a little better than how I found it. For me. For you. And for all those that I will never know.

Gee! I don't recognise this man talking to me? Do You? LOL

Friday, September 28, 2007

Chennai's First Ever Hail Storm! [Video]

Doomsday predictors are blaming it on Global Warming! Weather stations are perplexed! The Citizens are just happy! The Hindu reports the recent hail storm in Chennai as the very first received by the city. Check out the video. It's not much, but looks like its the only one on the net at the moment.

Is 'This' Coke As Fatal As The 'Other?'

Once upon a time, this is how it all started...

Gotu Laxmaiah, a poor farmer from Andhra Pradesh, took a real penchant for Coke. Not the kind of coke that you sniff, mind you. That's a deadly drug and too expensive for farmers of any country to afford. We are talking about Coca-Cola, or as it is lovingly called, Coke. He was delighted with The Real Thing! But funnily he didn't drink it! He sprayed it on several hectares of cotton and observed that "the pests began to die after the soft drink was sprayed on my cotton."

Now, Mr. Laxmaiah is not alone in this ingenious usage of Coca-Cola. It is said that a large number of farmers in India are using it as a pesticide, spraying their cotton and chilli fields with The Real Thing.

Guardian Unlimited reports that 'the properties of Coke have been discussed for years. It has been reported that it is a fine lavatory cleaner, a good windscreen wipe and an efficient rust spot remover. Uncorroborated reports from China claimed that the ill-fated new Coke was widely used in China as a spermicide.'

Centre For Science and Environment in Delhi claimed that the top 12 soft drink brands of Pepsi and Coca-Cola in India contained pesticides and insecticides in excess of limits set by the European Commission. Other Indian campaigners claim that Indian cola bottling plants are extracting so much water that local wells are running dry as the water table falls, and that the solid and liquid waste discharged by factories is polluting local groundwater.

Of course, the corporate spin doctors worked overtime and poof! all was well with Pepsi and Coca-Cola. The controversy magically disappeared! Suddenly facts and figures were furnished, and they were extremely acceptable. Satisfied, the Indian 'junta' went back to watching tv serials and cricket matches in no time.

But today, a small voice of dissent was heard in New York. Just a tiny crack in the 'we-won't-do-anything-wrong, we-are-responsible
-corporates' facade.

Speaking at a panel discussion organised by the Confederation of Indian Industry and the Earth Institute at Columbia University, representatives of Coca-Cola and PepsiCo insisted that beverage companies were not the largest users of water. They were replying to the criticism received from Indian Activists for excessive ground water usage.

It is a proven fact that the future water scenario for India is grim. Per capita water availability has slid from 5,000 cubic meters a year in 1950 to less than 2,000 cubic meters currently. It is estimated that if the current trends are not reversed, two thirds of the world will not have enough drinking water by 2025. Coke anyone?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
There's more dirt in your coke than you think. Find it all here.

'Coke, Pepsi deny using excessive ground water in India.' Read the original article here.

I Quit My Job To Save The World

I am not rich. Nor am I famous. I don't come from a wealthy family. Nor did I marry for money. (Though I try not to mention that in public. It makes people assume I'm a lot less intelligent than I actually am.) I don't own any thing of material significance. I am not enlightened. Spiritually or intellectually. I am just an ordinary bloke from a middle-class background. I am 33, live in a rented house, and, at best, have enough money to survive for the next three months.

And today, I quit my job to save the world.

I know it sounds bizarre. Even insane. I am not leaving behind a job that you wouldn't pick up for double the salary. No, sir. People would give their left arm and a leg to be in my chair. Yes! I am not just giving up the security of a paycheck. I am leaving behind the luxury of a six digit salary per month, the privilege of hobnobbing with fashion models and film stars, invitations to cocktail parties of the 'it's-a-sin-to-be-absent' kind. I am surrendering my right to sit with my feet up all day and be treated like a king. I am giving up my right to get paid for just 'thinking.' You see, I work in advertising.

But not any longer. Today is my last day at work.

I am giving up my career and this lifestyle to do something good for my community. Of course, I have a plan. Nothing works without a plan. My plan starts with trying to make a difference in Chennai, my adopted home. It's a big, ambitious idea for change. Just like you, I have read and heard about the very many problems in our society. I have always conveniently ignored it. Not because I'm bad or anything. I never had the time. Or it was always 'later.' Plus, these things were primarily someone else's business – the NGOs, the Charities, the government... Never mine.

I don't think that is true anymore. There are more problems that there are people who can solve them. Unless and until each one of us realises that, and does whatever we can to be part of the solution, there will be no change. One part of our community will be a rotting mess of poor, illiterate, sick, homeless, and hopeless people. The other side will be rich, greedy, corrupt, inconsiderate, and indifferent. And it just gets worse everyday.

I am going to give the best to what I intend to do. I love Chennai. I love to see more 'good' in its streets. But obviously, social change is not a private process. It is all about collaboration. Of spirited citizens, of like-minded people. Any idea that needs to make a difference in the community has to have a lot of good people supporting it. A lot of good people who are fed up
with the way things are. Who are willing to 'act' in any big or small way they can.

I want to tell you what my plan is. But not today. Today is my day to savor the last minutes of a flashy career before it disappears forever. Today is my last day of being an 'unconcerned' citizen.

Honestly, I have no idea what my future holds. Or what it will look like in, say, six months. I may be begging at your doorsteps for all I know. But I promise to keep you all posted. I really hope that everything works out well. If you can, please do pray for me. Thanks. Some of you may think I've lost my marbles. That's OK. If I am mad, I am a really happy mad man right now. See you tomorrow. PEACE.


Saturday, September 22, 2007

Papparazi Spots BigMojo Having FUN!!!

BigMojo - Caught on camera for the first time!!!!

Friday, September 21, 2007

The World As I See It

Einstein was a not only a great scientist. He was also a great philosopher. Personally, I believe a 'complete' thinker cannot exist as being one or the other. He exists as a scientist and a philosopher - a man in search of truth. To see the great philosopher behind that great scientist, all you have to do is read his essay, "The World As I See It." Here's an excerpt.

"How strange is the lot of us mortals! Each of us is here for a brief sojourn; for what purpose he knows not, though he sometimes thinks he senses it. But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people -- first of all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness is wholly dependent, and then for the many, unknown to us, to whose destinies we are bound by the ties of sympathy. A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving...

"I have never looked upon ease and happiness as ends in themselves -- this critical basis I call the ideal of a pigsty. The ideals that have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth. Without the sense of kinship with men of like mind, without the occupation with the objective world, the eternally unattainable in the field of art and scientific endeavors, life would have seemed empty to me. The trite objects of human efforts -- possessions, outward success, luxury -- have always seemed to me contemptible.

"My passionate sense of social justice and social responsibility has always contrasted oddly with my pronounced lack of need for direct contact with other human beings and human communities. I am truly a 'lone traveler' and have never belonged to my country, my home, my friends, or even my immediate family, with my whole heart; in the face of all these ties, I have never lost a sense of distance and a need for solitude..."

Change the World! Hug A Stranger!

I just love this. You would too. If it takes time to load, have patience. It's worth it. :)





You can find more about FREE HUGS at freehugscampaign.org

Seven Blunders Of The World!

Do they still make sense? What do you think?

1. Wealth without work


2. Pleasure without conscience


3. Knowledge without character


4. Commerce without morality


5. Science without humanity


6. Worship without sacrifice


7. Politics without principle


—Mahatma Gandhi


* Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi was born on 2 October 1869 in Porbandar, India. He led India's movement for independence from British rule and is one of the most respected spiritual and political leaders of the 20th century. In 1948 he was assassinated by a Hindu fanatic who opposed his tolerance for all creeds and religions. Gandhi is honoured by his people as the father of the Indian nation and is called 'Mahatma', which means Great Soul.

You Need To Chill Out Too. :-)

Where Are My Heros?

Have you noticed that the word 'hero' is no longer associated with anything contemporary. For some strange reason beyond my understanding, 'Hero' has become history. No longer can you find them in any human endeavour. Be it sports, literature, science or politics. Is it that men and women of exceptional character no longer exist? Or is it that they no longer participate in our society?

Our role models are still personalities from the past - Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Malcom X, Winston Churchill, Swami Vivekananda... the list is long as it is archaic. Who are today's heroes? There seems to be very many contenders for the role. But all seem similar in stature. Please, I am not asking you to point out the media-polled 'superstars.' I am talking about what each one of personally feel about an individual who has ascertained something sublime enough not to just win our respect, love and admiration but also that magical quality that makes us put them on a pedestal.


In the past there was Mother Teresa. We have Oprah. In the past, we had Henry Ford and Rockefeller. We have Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Richard Branson, ............................... and caravan load of business giants. In the past, there was Issac Newton and Albert Einstein. We have ....? Wait, just me a minute. I know. Who's that guy who did cloning? Anyway, so there are a lot of them too. In the past we had Hemingway, John Milton, John Paul Satre, Albert Camus, Sigmund Freud, and other such legendary figures. Today, we have...well, I can't think of one but know for a fact that there are enough to fill the next 20 pages and it still won't suffice. But don't you feel there is a difference? Somehow, Bill Gates does not evoke the same response within us as, say, Henry Ford or Lee Iacocca. A Desmond Toto is not as touching a personality as Mahatma Gandhi.


What I am saying here is, if you asked a classroom full of 10-year olds who there hero is, chances are you won't get a single name with a majority. None who inspire these soldiers of our future enough to find a place in their heart.


Yes, I admit. A lot of kids want to be the next Tendulkars, and Sania Mirzas of the world. A lot of them want to be Beckhams and Hritik Roshans too. But what about politics? What about areas that are not in the media lime-light? What about Economics? (It is like, after Adam Smith, no one studied the subject.) Science? Art? Music? (Not the kind that makes you an Idol overnight on TV?).


Is media making up for what was once a man's real stature in the society? Shaped by what he believed and did. Not by what he wore, or who he married? Has Media become so powerful and omnipotent that it is shaping our lives? Our perception of it? Our values and our goals? Are our aspirations being neatly packaged and delivered to us as audio and video bytes? Is this the beginning of mind control?


Is there a real hero out there who can save us all?

Ha..ha.., you know, folks, I am just kidding.




Thursday, September 20, 2007

Speak Up Or Be Silenced ForEver!

Why is Free Speech so important?...

Why speak up about things that don't seem to affect you? Perhaps
Pastor Martin Neimoller's view in one version of his quote will answer that question. He supported the Nazis until he realized, too late, what they were really about and was sent to Dachau concentration camp. He was one of the fortunate to be freed and live until 1984.

First they came for the Communists,
and I didn’t speak up,

I wasn’t a Communist.
Then they came for the Social Democrats,
I didn’t speak up,
because I wasn’t a Social Democrat.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists,
and I didn’t speak up,

because I wasn’t a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak up,
because I wasn't a Jew,
Then they came for me,
by that time there was no one

to speak up for me.

Thanks for this version to information researched at Liverpool Community College
and by
University of California Santa Barbara Professor Harold Marcuse

Chennai ReSurrection

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

What does BigMojo Mean?

The American Heritage Dictionary defines 'Mojo' as:
  1. A magic charm or spell.
  2. An amulet, often a small flannel bag containing one or more magic items, worn by adherents of hoodoo or voodoo.
  3. Personal magnetism; charm.
I love all that. Magic and stuff is cool. I would like to wave my magic wand and make things really exciting for the folks here on earth. For once, I want everyone to realise that happiness is the normal state of human existence. Absence of sadness does not qualify as being happy. "I'm ok" is not good enough. Be ecstatic! Euphoric! Delighted to exist.

BigMojo means a way of life that's close to nirvana. But in a very symbolic sort of way. If you are grown up enough, you can see it for yourself here http://www.infosex.com/mojo.htm

I don't want to be responsible for corrupting your innocent little minds. :)

What Wiki Has To Say About Mojo

Hello people, our very own wikipedia has interesting things to say about mah 'mojo' business.' Check it out here. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mojo

This is Muddy Waters with his 'mojo' working. Does it work for you?

I Got My Mojo Working - Muddy Waters

Got my mojo working, but it just won't work on you
Got my mojo working, but it just won't work on you
I wanna love you so bad till I don't know what to do

I'm going down to Louisiana to get me a mojo hand
I'm going down to Louisiana to get me a mojo hand
I'm gonna have all you women right here at my command

Got my mojo working, but it just won't work on you
Got my mojo working, but it just won't work on you
I wanna love you so bad till I don't know what to do

I got a gypsy woman givin' me advice
I got a gypsy woman givin' me advice
I got some red hot tips I got to keep on ice

Got my mojo working
Got my mojo working
Got my mojo working
.....

But it - uh uh - just won't work on you

Who's Crazy? You Or Me?

You have to abide by a certain unspoken code of conduct when living in a society. The less you are willing to do it, the more your ass gets kicked. I, for one, am a very 'code-of-conduct-abiding' kind of citizen. Not particularly in favour of my posterior being roughed around, you see. But sometimes even the best of us can fail. Like when one is dead-drunk. Convinced that every girl on the block is waiting for us to show them a good time, we can be suitably inspired to some amazingly embarrassing 'Kodak Moments.' Sometimes, situations such as these can be extremely unsympathetic to one's hind-side. Though there is one in a million chances that memory will aide us the next morning. Ignorance can be such bliss!

But on a normal day, when good folks, people you have known for a while, start giving you strange looks, you know something is amiss. Which is what makes this particular issue I am going to talk about perplexing.

I have started noticing it recently. It happens with almost everyone I talk to. I'm doing nothing unusual, just talking to them, and there, right in the middle of a sentence, they start giving me that look. A look that you would usually reserve for two-legged elephants or three-eyed monsters.

I try to hide my anxiety, act normal and continue the conversation. I see my listeners slowly taking defensive postures. Then I sense simmering hostility. Their face flushes, muscles become tense and breathing becomes heavy. If I'm dumb enough not to notice these screaming loud 'DO NOT ENTER' signs (which most of the time I am), and keep on talking, I find myself almost an inch away from being lynched publicly!

These strange incidents of unprovoked anger are becoming more and more common now. So much so that I hardly step out anymore. I have stopped answering my phone. My emails. I open my door only to pick up the milk and newspaper left on my steps. I sure do not want to upset anyone. Nor do I want to be lynched, publicly or otherwise.

For the last couple of days, I have tried to comprehend this unexplainable situation that I find myself in. I look back and I see nothing suspicious on my part, nothing out-of-the-ordinary to warrant provocation of such extreme order. Except, yes, one thing. A very tiny thing, in fact.

I see that the instant mutation in my audience has almost always happened when I have mentioned a certain word. Yes! That must be it. It seems ridiculous but that is the only logical explanation I can find. I see now that somehow, for some reason beyond my understanding, people have taken an excessive aversion' to the word, 'change.' They not only don't like it, they hate it with gusto. If voodoo worked, they would be busy right now, sticking needles in their voodoo dolls round-the-clock , just to kill anyone who dares mention 'change.'

I wonder why. 'Change' isn't a bad word or is it? It isn't impolite, improper or inappropriate. It's a harmless word. But the fact that I am holed-up inside my house for four weeks without any human contact suggests it is not so. Not anymore.

'Change' has become a symbol of pure, unadulterated hatred. 'Change' has become a sign of idealism, dreams and out-right stupidity to be hung around the necks of a 'few.' The few who's voices are heard but never acknowledged, who's actions are seen but never responded to, who's love for this world is felt but never shared. 'Change' has become an Utopian ideal good for intellectual masturbation. 'Change' has come to mean fear. 'Change' has come to mean iconoclasm. A threat to status-quo. 'Change' has come to be the great divider among brothers. Among those who want to live and those who wouldn't care.

I do not speak of change with any grand plans for you. I speak for myself. I mention change only because I am sad with what I see around me. I am sad with how my world is going down the drain. I am sad that most of us don't seem to care. I am sad that global warming, deforestation, AIDS, poverty, war, illiteracy, terrorism and a lot of other such miserable things are true and I'm not able to do much to prevent them. I am sad that women in my society can be gang raped on streets in broad day light and no body even talks about it. I am sad that children are sold for prostitution in my world. I am sad that someone can be burned to death for not giving 'dowry.' I am sad that I have to bribe people to get myself decent education, a job, a house, even medical treatment.

I am very sad with what's happening around me. That is true. And I know the only way I can be happy is if I change the things that make me sad. If I have to be happy I have to change what exists. Sorry? You didn't hear me. Sure, I can repeat that. I said I have to change things around me to be happy. And I want to be happy. Don't you? Or would you rather enjoy a sad life?

Some of us believe we are born on this earth to pay for our sins. It's only upon death that Heaven will be granted to Man. Some of us take that as a good reason to wallow in the misery surrounding us. To live in a frustrated, fierce desire of death. Well, I am not waiting to die to be happy. Nor have I any sins to pay for. This is my Earth and this is my Heaven. I will do whatever I can to change it if that's the only way for me to be happy. If you too seek happiness, start by speaking the word 'change.' You can see who your friends and who your enemies are immediately!

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Dying Is Easy. It's Living That Scares The Shit Out Of Me.

I haven't met Linda. I wouldn't know her from a lamp post if I bumped into her in a crowded street. But I like her nonetheless. She is one of those rare spirits you would actually love to have coffee with. The coffee could go cold and you wouldn't know. Neither would you care. Here's why...

"I used to spend huge amounts of time thinking about being famous. I figured being "somebody" would render me important. I've never felt important. I tend to collect moments filled with words and gestures that either give me a favorable feeling about myself or a shitty one. I have a proclivity for spending a good deal more time with the shitty ones. I don't think I'm alone in the activity of gleaning stuff from outside myself for the use of a fleeting hit of self-esteem. In fact..."[Continue]

Saturday, September 15, 2007

The Greatest Conspiracy In Human History

A father and son are driving home. They are involved in a bad car accident, and are rushed to hospital. Both are in critical condition. A surgeon comes to the Emergency Room to try to save the boy, takes one look at the patient and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he's my son." But the boy's father is lying on a trolley next to him.

What is the surgeon talking about?

This isn't a MENSA riddle but you can take it for one. Because the chances are, only 1 out of every 100 people reading this would know the answer in a snap. The rest would grope in the dark for quite a while before experiencing their 'Eureka!' moment. A few others, the really clueless, would actually give up without ever knowing the truth too.

The answer is actually quite simple. Of course, the surgeon is the boy's mother.

A lot of men who read this story remain flummoxed, tearing their hair out to find the answer. Understandable, thought not acceptable. What is sadder is that a lot of women remain equally lost for a long time. It only goes to show the deep rooted gender bias prevalent in our society.

Most of us, educated, aware, and broad-minded folks, are surprised to realise the vice-like grip of social conditioning on our outlook. I don't think any of us would consciously hold prejudice against a woman. They are most welcome to be whatever they want in our society. I, for one, would personally love to see them work their magic everywhere. Arundathi Roy, Tarala Dalal, Shehnaz Hussain, Aishwarya Rai, Kiren Bedi, Matha Amruthanadamayi, Ekta Kapoor, Barkha Dutt, Sunitha Williams, I love them all.

In fact, I feel they have an advantage over men. An unfair advantage. For example, you wouldn't think twice before telling a persistent salesman to 'sod off!' But if that happens to be a saleswoman, oozing her venusian charm and flashing her picture-perfect smile, you would not be in such a great hurry to 'get on with your life.' It's crappy anyway!

Similarly, the sight of a female nurse is comforting. The sight of a male nurse is confusing. It just doesn't give the same feeling, isn't it? One does not feel 'cared for' in a pair of hairy arms, I suppose. Tasks that require charm and tact have always been a woman's area of expertise. They have been enviously successful behind reception counters, where all kind of people walk-in and ask all kinds of questions, all the time. They have been successful as air-hostesses, where, once again, you got to deal with all kind of people, with all kinds of problems all the time. They have been successful as mothers, wives, lovers... I have nothing against men, but I guess great examples of love are usually mentioned in the context of women.

Contrary to public opinion, I think it is not women taking over men's jobs that's happening in the world today. I think it's women taking back their jobs from men that's happening. If historians and evolution theorists are to be believed, as cavemen, all men had to do was pick up their stone spears and go hunt. Women pretty much managed everything else by themselves.

As we evolved, I guess, so did our envy over women. Our egos couldn't handle the fact that we more or less played a supplier's role in the relationship. We were the handyman around. Our life revolved around her's. She knew how to run the house, how to cook food, how to take care of the babies, how to network and all the fundamental things necessary to exist in a human society. All we knew was to hunt - fling rocks at fleeing animals and kill them. Which we occasionally enjoyed as an evening sport too. Women were quite happy eating vegetarian fare and that didn't make us any more relevant either. So, technically, we were pretty much dispensible. Until they wanted to eat a non-vegetarian dish or have babies. To put it diplomatically, men were only needed to hunt and to hump.

During one of these bleak afternoons of abject misery, some really smart dude who saw the shape of our future in a women-led society, figured the only way to make our life any better was by making them feel irrelvant. By making them feel small and weak. He thatched the perfect conspiracy - the perfect action plan - do all their work! Of course, apart from delivering babies. Leave them only inconsequential things to do. Invent important things to do like racing, boxing, football, stock market and take over them.

Ever since, our good women have been relegated to the backdrop, with nothing much to do, and plenty of free-time on their hands. They discovered that they can keep themselves busy by powdering their noses, polishing their nails, talking about their unfriendly neighbours and discussing how stupid men generally are. Or why would someone give up the luxury of doing nothing for no apparent reason. They are not sitting idle though. They are confused about how these 'life-sustaining-inventions' of their men folk such as football adds anything to life. But all the same, they are not willing to let man out-do them. They are trying hard to beat us at our game. We are trying harder not to let them.

The tussle has been on for years now. So it looks like men rule the world and women are trying to wriggle their way in. But take a real good look and you will see that we are still one up on things that are more or less in the 'entertainment' category when it comes to dealing with life. They still have most 'must-haves-for-sustaining-life' covered. If women ever find this truth, believe me, brother, you and I are history!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We cannot hide or deny Nature. The inherent woman power is considerable. Maybe hidden and oppressed. But it exists. There are a lot of women folk who can make us look ridiculously small and insufficient. Here are three:

Vandana Shiva has been a leading researcher and activist on biodiversity, conservation and protecting people's right from threats to their livelihoods and the environment.
www.vshiva.net

Ela Bhatt started SEWA, the Self Employment Women's Association, which represents 250,000 self-employeed workers, SEWA runs health and maternity programmes and has set up its own bank. www.sewa.org

Kiran Bedi
was the first woman officer in the India Police Service. Since 2003, she has been Civilian Police Advisor in the Dept of Peacekeeping Operations for the UN. She also set up the Indian Vision Foundation to work in the field of prison reform and crime prevention. www.kiranbedi.com

Friday, September 14, 2007

Three Things You Didn't Know About Safe Sex. Apart From Condoms!

True, condom is a vital part of the equation. But it is not the only part. When contemplating safe sex there are three other equally important things you need to keep in mind. One, your vocabulary. Two, your college. And three, your shoes.

These three, individually and together, can decide whether you will have sex, will not have sex, or go through a harrowing experience at trying to have it. Let's take a look at each one of them.

You are not having any if your best pick-up line goes something like this, “ Hello madam, I am single, intelligent, broad-minded and an eligible boyfriend. Do you have a vacancy?” No, sir, that just does not work. You are not any better off with, “Hey babe, I've three cars, five credit cards and an empty villa. Would you like to have some fun?” Chances are you will end up with a chick like the one who hooks up with Saif Ali Khan's character in 'Dil Chahta Hai' and then, rips him off down to the underwear. That is, you will be 'NSTF'd - No Sex yet Totally F***ed!

Assuming you are smarter than all that, and you are successful in wooing a walking, talking aphrodisiac in black gown and shimmering mascara, you still need to be pretty good with your vocabulary. Cause if you flip open your wallet, swish out a condom and say, “I am clean. But hey, sex is a two way thing, isn't it?,” you better be in good physical shape. Running at 100kmph is impossible with all that extra fat on your frame.

Nobody said safe sex is easy. Sex may be. You can even buy it off the streets. But who's willing to die for sex? I'm not. I'd rather live and learn to have safe sex.

Let's talk about the college angle now. If you are from BITS, IIT, IIM or a similar institution of higher learning, no lass will mistake you for a dumb punk who has no idea whether he's coming or if he ever will. The moment they know you are from one of the better colleges, they know you are smart. It's a myth, I agree, but it exists and hence works for you. It's a kind of big imaginary red light in the 'high-risk' mating game. Which is good. It keeps the little ladies with a extraordinary obsession for life-threatening adventure sports away from you. People who insist on risking their lives for fun should be trying bungee-jumping or something equally dangerous. At least, no one else gets hurt.

The last but not the least important part of the equation is your shoe. It is a simple, yet accurate giveaway of your personality. And your intelligence. It's a window to your superior self or stupidity depending on how you wear them.

For example, if you are wearing a shabby pair of shoes and have a condom at hand, you will be considered someone who is really intelligent. Someone who values his life over his appearance. Someone who is extremely principle led, and hence dependable. You have 70% chances of engaging in safe sex on a regular weekend rave party.

On the other hand, if your shoes are shiny and you have no condom at hand, you are busted! Completely, totally, and absolutely busted! A selfish, son-of-a-swine, who also happens to be smackingly stupid and a show-off – that's how you will be pictured. Someone who was vain enough to shine his shoes but not smart enough to buy a condom! Very thoughtless of you, my friend. Not a very positive impression to make especially when 'good times' depend on making the right impression. Result – nobody who really is worth buying a drink for is going to come anywhere near you. Mission unaccomplished! A total failure!

Now this does not mean that the next time you are heading for a hot spot, you put on your best pair of shoes and carry a wallet full of condoms. That does not say you are extra thoughtful. It only says you are very indiscrete!!! Sometimes, if you are really unlucky, you could be mistaken for a condom salesman too! Not something you want, I bet!

The best thing to do is to wear your shiny shoes and have a condom handy. It sends the message that not only are you a 'safe player' but also 'a man of means' who can afford dinner for two. From here, you are on your own. Just one thing. When you raise that toast thank me once, will you? Good luck!



Thursday, September 13, 2007

Let's Ban Water!

Enviromentalism can be real fun. Check out this video.
http://video.stumbleupon.com/#p=8l3fkcv0u4

Free Kidney Treatment In Chennai?

I received a mail this morning which goes as follows:


"Dear All,

PLEASE PASS ON THIS MESSAGE TO EVERY ONE.

There is a foundation called TANKER (Tamilnadu kidney Research Foundation), where they treat all kidney related problems free of cost.

They even do Dialysis free of cost. Please forward this message and let people utilize this opportunity. It can help people who are in need. Don't neglect... Please forward the message.

For further Details contact: 044 - 28273407 and 28241635. Forward to all people you know............may be it would be of help to at least one."


My do-gooder spirit soared at the thought of being able to help humanity, save a few lives with this information today. But strangely instead of doing the mass FWD thing I dialled the said number. In the most pleasant of tones I was told the following:

"We are delighted you called, sir. But we do not provide FREE treatment. Dialysis costs Rs.450. We are also aware of the scam mail in circulation."

So, my dear reader, I obtained their website address in case you personally want to check the authenticity of the mail.

Go to www.tankerfoundation.com and please do not go FWDing that bloody mail. Our mail boxes are already filled with all kinds of mails promoting porn. Good day!

I'd Change The World. But Then I'd Have To Kill You.

Changing the world must be great fun. Or else why would men, otherwise sane, risk their job, family, love, status in the society, savings and sanity to try and do that? Well, I admit, most of us, the sensible lot is not given to such grandiosity. We are quite happy with the things as they are. We are quite happy with the world as it is. We know, there's a little bit of trouble here and there. Nothing really serious. Nothing that should warrant drastic measures such as changing the world. That is an impractical thing anyway. Good for idealistic shooh-sha among college kids. Or smart slogans for NGO campaigns. In real life, things don't work that way.

That's government business. They have to take care of the world. It's their job, isn't it? They have to fight terrorism, inflation, kidnapping, murder, traffic jams, unemployment, poverty, illiteracy, AIDS, human rights violation, child abuse, child labour, violence against women, sexual harrassment, pollution, epidemics, keeping the city clean, power shortage, power theft, human trafficking, drug smuggling, addiction, water shortage, petrol prices... they have to work on it all. So what if things aren't the way we like them to be today. Give them time. Our politicians, our bureaucrats, our administrators, our public servants, our police, our ministers, they are all working to make our world a better place. They ARE working, right?

Our job is to just exist peacefully. Happily. Waiting for the grand moments of our lives - our birthdays, our marriage, our aunt's silver jubilee and the whole list. Yes, we are not to meddle with things that we don't have to.

It is said that human history is mostly filled with petulance. That, it is a story of frustrations, fear, foolhardiness, fixations and failure. Life stories of little people raising a hoopla over little things. While their world is being take care of.

Once in a rare while, just to upset our normal lives, comes a radical. A so-called man of unbridled vision and determination. A man who wants to change the world.

Napolean Bonoparte was one of them. Emperor Asoka was also one of them . Till he forgot his priorities and decided to change himself. Another fairly successful change agent was Adolf Hitler. Now, that man had some guts. He not only wanted to change the world, but rewrite the entire human history too.

All these men, these complicated beings of a not-so-distant past, were ready to change the world at any cost. They were selfless in their mission. They courted mortal danger, made millions of enemies and risked their own lives just to make their dream come true.

Strange fellows, I say.

My only explanation is this - changing the world must give one a head rush. Maybe a feeling similar to snorting cocaine. No wonder Mr. Osama Bin Laden is busy changing the world now. Mr. Bush is busy changing the world. But hell if I am going to do that. I am not THAT selfish. No sir, that just isn't me. Let the Osama Bin Ladens of the world change the world as they deem fit. Let the policy makers of our world make it as they seem fit. I'm not a soldier. I would rather live in their's than fight for mine. What about you?

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Who Wants To Go To Jail Today?

An old man lived alone in a village. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation.

"Dear Son, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison."

Love, Dad

Shortly, the old man received this telegram:

" For Heaven's sake, Dad,don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!"

At 4a.m. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns. Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asked him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the best I could do for you from here ."

Moral Of the Story: NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART, YOU CAN DO IT.

BigMojo's 'Moral Of the Story': "If you are doing no good to your family, friends, or the community staying at home, do us all a favour. Go to jail and do some, you lazy bum!."

'Live And Let Live' Isn't Working

There must have been a time when God was in Heaven and all was well on Earth. Or how else could we possibly justify someone in his sane mind saying, “Live and Let Live.” Either he was not sane. Or, like I said, all must have been well on Earth.

Neither is true anymore.

Things are pretty much going down south on our home planet. And sanity isn't readily available. Think about it. There is a full-fledged conspiracy against you out there. And you're busy choosing a better colour for your underwear. Oh yes, it is all around you. You can see it in every nook and corner. In every passing stranger's eyes. In the suspicious glances of your neighbours. It's out there alright. In the stores. In the streets. On the roads. In schools. At shopping malls. At the airports. It's waiting and watching you.

You think I am joking, my friend. It's alright. I am used to dealing with mortals of lesser intelligence. Let me try to help you see the truth as it exists. Not as you see it through your rose-tinted glasses.

You are a good man. Or a woman. Good woman. And you want to lead a happy, good life. You are ready to work for it. You don't want handouts. You believe in yourself and your capability to succeed. It is all good. You just want to go about living your life. Being a pain-in-the-ass to no one. You don't want to mess with other people's business either. It's their life and they bloody well can do whatever they want, right? You are cool about that. Or so you think.

Until you know the truth.

Let's start with your day. Did you meet a man smoking a cigarette? You met ten! Hah. Very good. You just met your first bunch of killers! And they are no amateurs. They will get you even if they have to die in the process. You've heard of suicide bombers? These are suicide smokers! Every time they light a cigarette, (which I agree, looks a very non-threatning act in itself.) they smoke 30% of the poison and let you inhale the rest 70% of it. Smoke that contains deadly stuff like lead, arsenic, carbon monoxide and what not. Slow poisioning, my dear. One of the most effective ways to murder someone without arousing suspicion. To enlighten yourself, read Agatha Christie's mysteries. You will be terrified. If you are still alive, that is.

Slow poison is the mantra of our times. As much as you want to live, as much as I want you to live, there is no escaping it. It is everywhere. In the air you breathe, in the water you drink, in the food you eat...

But you don't recognise it. It's always disguised in fancy names. Just to make it all sound OK. Remember when you heard words like carbon monoxide, chemical pesticides, acid rain, lead, additives or pollution? Of course, you didn't jump off the chair, did you? And that's what they want. To give you a false sense of security. To lull your senses. An alert man is a dangerous enemy. They know it. You don't. Not yet.

Someone is dumping plastic at your doorstep. Someone is selling toxins packed and canned as food and drink. Someone is using deadly banned pesticides to grow the vegetables and fruits you eat. Someone's factory in your city is quietly polluting the air you breath with dangerous gases. Someone is leaving dead dogs, cats and crows to decompose in your neighbourhood. Someone is using fatal dyes to colour the clothes you wear. As you dive into your chemically-treated vegetable salad, oblivious of the invisible enemy surrounding you, someone is methodically working at destroying your life. Their weapons of mass destruction are eating away your insides, taking the light out of your eyes and eroding your brain. Believe me, there is a grand conspiracy out there. And it's goal is absolute annihilation – of you, of everything you love, and every thing you dream of.

See trees in your city being cut down meticulously? The power being rationed? Acts of unexplainable mass destruction? Rivers running dry? Water becoming unusable? Unbelievable statistics of environment pollution? Rise in un-communicable diseases? Mass suicides? Unreasonable violence? Spreading indifference? Do you see the systematic rise of evil?

On the other side of the spectrum, this very moment, everything in your city from basic necessities such as food, water, and housing to transportation, communication and media are being taken over by invisible overlords extending their tentacles into every aspect of your life. They have one objective – total control over your life.

The truth is that no longer can you or I live by the maxim - 'live and let live'. Because someone out there is not willing to let you live. And if you want to live, you will have to fight that someone. You will have to fight for clean air to breathe, you will have to fight for healthy food to eat, you will have to fight for pure water to drink. You will have to fight that someone for your very right to live. Or else, one of these days, your indifference WILL kill you, my friend.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

So, Who Else Is Not Making You Happy?

Apart from your parents, that is.

Of course, everybody knows that anyway. It's a given. Parents are the first reason for your eternal unhappiness. They just don't seem to 'get it.' They never have 'got it.' Never. Not once in the whole history of human kind have they really 'got it.' But that's a fundamental universal problem. Let's concentrate on bigger things. Your current personal issues. I mean, what is not making you happy? Who is not making you happy? Every one of us has his or her own favourite list. What's on your's?

Go ahead. Spill it out.

It's your neighbour who plays loud music, isn't it? Or is it your girlfriend who is hell bent on holidaying in Bali? Let me just make a few educated guesses here. You can nod your head when you agree with me, ok?

Is it that crazy son-of-a-swine who cut you off the road this morning in a shiny new Fiesta? Or your slimy boss who took another dig at your 'brilliant' idea? Your company for offering peanuts for a paycheck? The government for everything right from inflation, evils of globalisation to pollution and traffic jams? The cleaners, doctors, pedestrians, autorickshaw drivers, speeding call centre cabs, beggers on the streets...

Whoever thought life was going to be like this? There you do nothing, absolutely nothing, to get in the way of trouble. But trouble finds you nonetheless. Just to make you unhappy. It comes in all shapes and sizes. An over-bearing father, a mother who doesn't understand, friends who are just plain opportunists, an education system that numbs your mind, no money, work that dulls your spirit, weather that's dangerously similar to a baking oven, air that's only just a little less toxic than over flowing sewage that you have to walk by. Girls with no brains, boys with no money, roads that resemble battle grounds, traffic that's good enough to give a heart attack, too many beautiful people, too little time, cosmetic surgery that you cannot afford, night shifts, no over-time, peer pressure, violence, reckless and arrogant drivers, senseless flyovers... the list is long and winding.

You know it. I know it. But heck, what's the point? Nobody seems to give a damn. They are simply not ready to move their lazy butts. They are just not willing to make things any better. Make you happy. The only people who do seem to want to do something are walking around in groups distributing leaflets and trying to headbutt running trains to a halt. I have no idea how that's gonna help you.

The situation, as you can see, isn't very hopeful. This is added grief to your existing bag of woes.

But sure, man, somebody's gotta do something. Some one has to, right? They better realise it soon. After all, it's a question of your happiness.

Let's Diss Chennai's Traffic Cops Some More

They don't do their job. Not at all. They are lazy, insolent, pain-in-the-asses. Let's admit it. All they are really interested is in harassing you. Maybe even make a little money too. I mean, c'mon, look what they are really supposed to be doing and all. And what do they do? If you are just citizen you would want to throw the constitution of India on their smug faces just to remind them of their duties. Chances are still you cannot wipe out that look of absolute indifference there. They are simply not bothered. Accepted. But why are they hell bent on screwing our happiness. Can't they see our pathetic lives are already so bloody full of problems. Why are these people so oblivious to our troubles?

Think about it.

You have to subsist on less than a fancy five-digit salary. You have a wife who is nagging you day in, day out for a bigger colour TV, the latest silk saree on the Nalli Hoarding, and a ceremonial visit to her parent's. There are two tikes crawling on the floor eating away half of your salary in doctor's bills, baby food and toys. Your widowed mother lives with a perennial cough that somehow becomes a one-man-wake-the-neighbourhood-alarm in the nights. So you're life is pretty much like being in Afghan while American bombers flew sorties flattening it.

That's not the worst part.

To support this circus of a life, this simple degradation of existence, you have to stand under Chennai's horrid sun the whole day; breathe carbon-monooxide and other toxic stuff that would stop a charging bull dead right in its tracks; risk your arms, limbs and life standing smack in the middle of thousands of crazed drivers speeding around as if to kill and venge the wrongs of their parents, children, spouses, bosses, government and the mosquito that bit them last night; stand there and get abused, assaulted, cursed; kicked around and barked at by bosses travelling in the convenience of air-conditioned cars, and if lucky, go back to do the same shit again next morning in the only other pair of uniform you have. This is your entire life. Every day. Day after day. Year after every living year.

[They remind you of the protagonist in Kafka's Trial and Dosteyvsky's Notes From The Underground]

Then on a speeding flashy bike or trendy car, you arrive. Talking on the latest Nokia N73. On the other end is your girlfriend telling you about how she's not happy with her hair cut or bosom buddy who's arranging that party next week. All life and death situations that have to be attended to, then and there. And you, as the noble lord that you are, rise up to the occasion not afraid to break a government rule, even risk your life. Only to be waived down by a stupid, so called 'officer of the law' who obviously does not have your intelligence or commonsense to understand the ridiculousness of the situation.

It is ridiculous, isn't it?

You are just talking on the phone, for God's sake. You haven't hit anyone. Or worse, killed anybody. You are just breaking a law that doesn't make sense anyway. Mobiles are for talking while on the move. That's the whole idea, right? And how ridiculous it is to curb that freedom? Sometimes, it is all so senseless. Don't open that trap of more stupid accusations on me? So what if you don't have a license? You've been driving since you were 12 and are proud of not having a single accident to your name. So what if your vehicle insurance has expired? It's your private problem, isn't it? Why the hell are these cops so noosy? I mean, how can they fall to such depths of depravity to get a hundred bucks from me? That's all they want, right? Insurance? What insurance? I don't have insurance. Period. So what? There are hundreds of them running on the roads without insurance.

So what if I am drunk? I am not THAT drunk. I can handle myself very well. I have done this a thousand times now. Yeah, the last time I kindda bumped on to the gate of my building. But hey, no one knows. And it was nothing serious. Ok? Look, I am tired, and I am sleepy. I just want to go home. Why can't you take some money and let me go? That's what you want, right? So, let's all be gentlemen here. Take this money. Say ta ta to me. Thank you, officer. You are so good. Oh..argh...no..no..that's ok. I tripped. No.. seriously.. it's ok. Can I drive? Of course, I can. Just wait and watch...Sorry, what? huh? My fly is open? ha..ha..Where are my damn keys?

So what if I break a few rules, officer? I mean, everybody does that, isn't it? You got to be a little friendly, you know? What the hell do you get for charging me, anyway? You think the governement cares whether I follow the rules or not? They just appoint you so that more people are employed. Yeah, that's it. Rules are meant to be broken. Well, not broken necessarily. But circumvent. Atleast some of them. For our convenience. After all, that is what is most important, isn't it? Rules should be there for our convenience. You, traffic cops, you should just stand there and see how good we naturally are. We are all civilised and highly educated people, officer. Yeah, now I said it. But why are you laughing?

Statistics say that an average of 25,000 or more new vehicles are added to Chennai's roads every month. Add to that, the fast gaining popularity of our city as the better, if not the best, metro to live and work in. The BPOs, the software companies, the financial institutions, the automobile giants... they are all arriving in hoards to our city. So are their employees. In the last two years, Chennai must have seen the most number of white and blue collar workers from all parts of the country relocating [with their vehicles, ofcourse] to this city.

The number of vehicles on our roads are increasing dangerously. The number of people driving has grown exponentially. Just notice the number of registration plates for five minutes while on the road next time. You will see plates with almost every alphabet in the english language. But our roads haven't changed. They are about to burst open at their seams like a tired old sack. The number of traffic cops hasn't changed either. If earlier there was one cop for every hundred vehicles on the road, now there is one cop for every thousand.

He is underpaid, overworked, beaten, bruised, burned-out, loveless, with a whole city against him.

But, hey, I say he sure isn't doing his job right. What do you say?

Friday, September 7, 2007

The Monkey Speaks His Mind

Three monkeys sat on a coconut tree
Discussing things as they are said to be
Said one to the other, now listen you two
There is a certain rumour that can't be true
That man descended from our noble race
The very idea is a big disgrace
No monkey ever deserted his wife
Nor her baby and ruin her life

Yeah..the monkey speaks his mind

And you never known a mother monk
To leave her baby causing it to plunk
Nor pass them on one to another
Till they scarcely knew who was their mother

Yeah...the monkey speaks his mind

And another thing you will never see
A monkey build a fence around a coconut tree
And let all the coconuts go to waste
Forbidding all other monkeys to come and taste
Now if I build a fence around this tree
Starvation will cause you to steal from me
Yeah..the monkey speaks his mind

Here is another thing a monkey won't do
Go out at night and get on a stew
Or use a gun a club or a knife
To take another monkey's life
Yes, man, descended, the worthless bum
But my God, brothers, from us, he did not come!

Yeah..the monkey speaks his mind

[courtesy- http://www.mutabaruka.com/themonkey.htm]

Who's that Monkey in Our Middle?

MEET BIG MOJO

He is quick witted and possess amazing metal dexterity. They are his trademarks. He prides himself on being able to dance rings around everyone else. With his clever, alert mind, he catches on quickly and processes information in a trice. He is a bright as a button, nimble of foot and able to accomplish almost any task - the more intricate and involved the better. With his razor-sharp wit and huge sense of fun, BigMojo is constantly seeking new experiences and fresh challenges to stimulate his senses.

He has an irrepressible sense of fun, seemingly from birth and delight in jokes, tricks and amusing stories. But he can also be a bit mischievous - especially if he is ever get bored. Then he gets that naughty glint in his eye and simply has to go and stir something or someone up, just for the sheer fun of it! This is done BigMojo takes a front-row seat and settles down to enjoy the fireworks.

All said and done, BigMojo has a secret.

He was abducted by aliens hundreds of years ago. Long before monkey’s started losing their tails and brains and became Man. He was subjected to sinister experiments, then let loose to float forever in the darkness of the space in a time capsule.

Due to a head on collision with the junk revolving in the earth’s atmosphere, his space vehicle was deflected from its trajectory and landed in the marshes of Chennai, India. Quickly he realizes that he is trapped. In an extremely strange world. While he sees the remnants of his ancestors in the two legged creatures inhabiting this planet, he is unable to explain their stupidity, selfishness or sexual fantasies.

He realizes fixing this broken society is far more urgent than fixing his time-travel machine.
He carries a deadly weapon. A sledgehammer. That is his Mojo. But is it powerful enough to break through the wall of human indifference? Can he conquer human sins of apathy, sloth and hate? Will he succeed in working his Mojo and bring fun, frolic and good times to Chennai?

Only time will tell.

Right now, he could be using his magical ability shape-shifting to become someone you know. Maybe he is you. :)

MAD ENOUGH? Talk to a Monkey.

I understand.

I really do. Believe me.

Things aren’t the way you wish they were. They are rotten. I know that. I see that.

There’s a beast out there. A beast, blind, furious and running out of control. Shifting shape without warning, showing up without notice. It’s everywhere. A terror attack, a VIRUS epidemic, chronic depression, dry rivers, dead fish, drug addiction, a new dictator, human trafficking, inflation, pollution, assassination, brain drain, scams, child pornography – it’s spreading its tentacles with alarming speed. And you know what. It’s a beast that you unleashed.

You had opportunities. Plenty of them. To stop it.

When you were supposed to raise your voice you kept quite. When you were supposed to raise your hands you stuck them inside your cargo pants. When you supposed to object you said, “whatever.” When you were supposed to understand the issue you chose to pass. When you were supposed to learn what is right and what is wrong you were busy playing ping-pong. When you were supposed to stand for something, anything, you thought it was too inconvenient for your busy lifestyle.

And now, you have water that you can’t drink. You have air that you can’t breathe. You have roads that you can’t drive on. You have cities but you can’t live there. You have systems and processes in place. But they aren’t working. Corruption, conceit and flat-out constipation of values rule your world.

You are drowning in floods, dying in earth quakes, dying of poverty, committing mass suicides. You are disappearing of unmentionable diseases. Succumbing to unimaginable suffering.

Yes, I admit, you have become more and more innovative. Ingenious. Today, a school teacher was arrested for pushing her female students to prostitution. A hospital was found to trade in organs of unsuspecting patients. A woman was caught smuggling cocaine stuffed inside her dead baby’s belly. A father sold his own son to feed his family. A family sold its daughter to prostitution to feed itself. A son killed his parents for property. A 74 year old woman was bludgeoned to death for a sovereign of gold. A friend killed another to avoid paying back his debt. Yes, your society is adapting to the times well.

And you go on smiling. Walking. Working. Living. Your life is good. Your daughter is safe. Your friend doesn’t owe you money. Your wife isn’t a baby killer. Your mother isn’t alone. Your city hasn’t been bombed. Yes. Yes, your life is good.

But underneath this veneer of normalcy I smell fear. Unrecoganisable and unadmitted. Underneath this pretense of respectability I see fear. It’s coming closer. If the sins of your family, friends, and neighbours don’t haunt you down, the demons of your enemies will.

They are ready with their suicide bombers, mass massacres, arson and arsenic. They are waiting for you in movie halls, mass meetings, airplanes, airports, places of worship, places of work, and wayside parks. They are slowly, but steadily moving in to your life.

You may think I am exaggerating. Read my lips. “Go check the papers. See the news. Search the net.” The terror is coming closer. Closer than you imagine. Closer than you thought possible. Closer than it’s safe for you anymore.

Change is necessary. It is imminent. Even inevitable.

The question is will you help bring it about or will you just sit there and moan the slow death of the world as you know it?

Just as darkness spreads when light subsides, the evil will swell as the good caves in. It is a law of nature.

Get this straight. If you think you are doing good just by not participating in the destruction of our society and our planet, you are wrong.

In a battle between the destroyers of our community and the saviours of it, your silent passivity works against the good and for the evil.

If you don’t stand up and say, “NO” you are saying,”Yes.” There is no in-between. You may argue there is. But you know the truth.

You apathy and indifference is only going to make things worse.

It’s time for action.

Real action.

This is time for the young ones, and the old ones to come together. This is the time for the big ones and small ones to come together. This is the time for the tall ones and the short ones, the hips and the hicks, the nerds and geeks, the chicks and the hens to come together. This is the time for action. This is time to move in one direction. This is time to change the world!

This is time to protect what is ours. This is time to save what is left and build what we can. This is time to resurrect the human spirit. This is time to stand together, and say in one voice, “We will not let our freedom, our lives, and our future be taken from us. We will not let our cities be held for ransom.” This is time for us show our solidarity and fight for what we believe is just and right. For what we believe is true and fair.

This is time for us to build a society that cares.

And it’s no monkey business, my friend.

The old world order has to fall. With it, should fall, the idea that changing the world is difficult. Tough. Impossible. A boring and self-less act. That, it is a hobby. A calling. That, it is meant for people who are enlightened, different from you and me, and move around in shabby clothes. Such is not the case. Not any more.

Changing the world can be fun! Changing the world is an everyday thing. If you don’t think so, you are underestimating your own powers, my dear. Take it from an ape who knows what he’s talking about.

The only question is will you actively participate in it or be a puzzled passive onlooker?

Will you find the courage to shape the things to come or meekly accept what we make possible for you?

Will you fight for your vision of the world as it should be?

Will you discover and use your immense power or stay afraid and indifferent all your life?

If you are saying yes, then, “my brave soldier, do something. Do anything!” On the other hand, if you are comfortable in your incapacity for action, go back to your seat. Moan and whine at the sad state of things as usual. Live to regret seeing the day a monkey changed the world. Just wish me god speed!